Shh! You'll wake the thought police!

I have to admit that I'm having a hard time thinking about much other than my disappointment in this country, but here I try anyway. Thanksgiving is also on my mind and my aversion to a political discussion with my step father. I feel that he has been so blindsided with ridiculous theories that there is no saving him. The tea party is not what you think it is dear heart. See, I just can't focus! Although this disappointment does have influence on my disappointment with American popular religion. It is very few and far between I meet a real Christian. So many are so unchrist like, and use the phrase "I'm christian" as this theological leverage in discussions. Case in point, politicians. How many times have you heard the phrase "I'm Christian" flow from their mouths? No reasonable person would believe this garbage. They do nothing that would be considered Christ like, at all...ever. I'll be honest here I've met one, perhaps two, people who call themselves Christian that actually are. That's not a good track record. American Christianity is so fragmented that I'm not sure it can even be called a religion. So many sects of Christianity, thus so called Christians, have become politicized, as I mentioned....when that happens it stands to reason that it is no longer a religion. Every Christian sect will provide you with a different answer to what it means to be Christian, and I feel this makes the whole religion as a whole incredibly weak. When a religion fragments and becomes to secular, is it still a religion? Does saying "I'm Christian" even provide anyone with a ethical level up over someone else? That's what it implies. Lets say I'm throwing out some ridiculous theory about any ethical issue, really, I almost faithfully hear "Well, I'm a Christian so....." There is so very few reasons to start a point like that, but to gain ethical leverage. Starting a conversation with "Well, I'm a Pagan so..." does not seem to have the same effect! Don't mistake me! I love religious people, truly religious people. I'm not one to judge whether someone who says their of a specific faith perfectly exemplifies said faith. People are not perfect, but there's a certain level of faith and "goodness" that a person follows to be even a little truly religious. I love to discuss what it means to be religious, dissect weird notions and change my own philosophies. I'm always open to change, it's one of the few blessings my personality and sordid history have afforded me. Having very little sturdy life foundation is not one of my favorite aspects about me, but it does leave me a fairly clean slate. Anyway, I ramble about strange things, especially at night. It's midnight...

Same story different location

I think everyone is generally aware that I am reasonably obsessed with the band HIM and their front man Ville Valo.  I say reasonably because I wouldn't chase the man down the street and rip off his clothes, which I am sure some ladies would do.  I love the music style, the imagery of the songs, and I generally think they're lyrically brilliant.  More important to this blog, besides professing my unyielding love, would be Ville's occasional clips where he discusses religions. You come across religious imagery in the lyrics, especially in the more recent works.  I felt like posting this video, because of my last rambling about Salem and the strange duality of a bunch of "dark" partiers on Halloween in Salem and yelling Christians in the same place. These yelling Christians have invaded their shows as well:

Curse for some and blessed for a few

I should probably lay out some points before discussing Salem.  Although I've been called a witch more times than I can count, not all of which have been from hate,… I've never called myself a witch.  I don't cast spells or mess with energy, thus I'm not a witch.  What I do call myself is Pagan.  I've spent most of my life outdoors and certain things speak to me more than others.  I've been called a "natural born heathen"  in all seriousness, a number of times.  What they meant by this was that I have no Christian dogmas holding me down in any way, I have no experience in being anything other than Pagan, but my family never held any religious notions throughout my life.  I have no experience, which becomes remarkably clear when Christians start talking their Christian things.  My face just goes blank because I have no idea what they're talking about.  Even when I do understand what they're saying I just can't understand why they believe such things.  When I ask why a person believes certain things…. It is very rare I get a well thought out response other than the bible tells them so or that's the way they were raised.  These are very frustrating responses to someone like me.  It's usually at that point I shut down the conversation and turn away.  I have two tests for Christian people when I meet them 1) "I've never been to church, what do you believe." 2) "Why do you believe what you believe?"  These questions are obnoxiously basic, but so few people can answer them. 

So that's where I was at when I went to the mecca of witchiness known as Salem.  Salem on Halloween.

It is so easy to get caught up in the energy of Salem, MA, especially on Halloween.  As soon as I stepped off the boat I was swept up in Salem.  It is very clear when you're there why it has become something of the mecca of witches.  I tried to stay focused on the places I wanted to visit, rather then get swept away on the currant of energy running around the town.  It's seriously palpable on Halloween day, with all the people from around the world there, to me at least.  If there's a label to be put on me it is usually "sensitive,"  meaning that I easily pick up on energy of a place, person, or thing. Occasionally I will get pictures, more often emotions, in my head.  The emotions are the worst, they are so hard to shake off later.  Essentially, going to Salem on Halloween was quite a trip for me, I was exhausted by 9pm.  I think that by going to Salem on such a powerful day of the year, one almost becomes touched by the city itself.  That some part of Salem attaches itself to you forever more.   I can feel some new energy with me, but I haven't decided why it's around yet.  I can tell you though that all of this reinforces the crooked path of life I'm on.  I'm going to visit the local Pagan groups a bit more, but I almost feel ready to just commit.   Maybe I'll decide to take the name Witch people like to throw at me. 

An issue I did have was the blurred lines between show and reality.  I heard to phrase "Real witches for your entertainment!" and it hurt my heart.  If more people could feel all the energy running around Salem, perhaps they would take the people standing between the spiritual and 'real' world more seriously.  Witchcraft is very much real and is neither positive or negative.  I had a difficult time with the halloween show of things, knowing what witchcraft is.  Halloween in Salem is a very strange mix of silly horror movie American concepts and very real energy, people, and culture.  It's a day of dualities, which is essentially Halloween.  The day is filled with history and tourists, and the night started with a Samhain ritual and turns into a giant city wide street party.  No I didn't get any kind of psychic reading…. I don't want to know anything!  The last time someone did a tarot card reading with me, it was spot on, and this person didn't know me at all.  So needless to say I wasn't so adamant about another reading, especially being recently married. 

I went to every witchy shop, but didn't buy anything.  Some shops had better feelings than others.  Hex is the big shot right now it seems, I didn't care for it.  Not that it's not real, it's just all darker than I prefer.  It was also incredibly busy, which is quite unusual for a witchy shop where I'm from!  Speaking of Hex, the main public figure of the store and the witch community of Salem is Christian Day.  I've come across Mr Day quite a  bit, and I could never decide whether or not to take him seriously.  It's an unfortunately side effect of being critical.  So, naturally, I had to go to his Samhain ritual while there.  It's one of the world's few public rituals.  Usually, an obnoxious amount of approval is needed to bring "outsiders" into a ritual.  I think one could understand why it's normally like that.  Anyway, I watched a portion of his group's ritual, not the whole thing.  They made their point to me I suppose.  I went to see, feel, if this is all show or not. I have no doubts at this point about his group.  They were dealing with some very powerful spiritual figures.  I could feel the energy they were with.  It felt like it shot up to me, grabbed my heart and pulled me in.  They clearly used the energy of the crowd to fuel their highly powerful spiritual figures called upon.  Although one lady of the group made a statement about their religion being the only one that has not killed in the name of their god.  I felt that was a lofty jump, how can you accurately support that?  And to say it in such a public forum with people and opinions from around the world… I wouldn't say that at that point.  To each their own.  

It irritated me when a Pagan ritual needs to have police present, and these people come in and shout at pagan events.   There were mounted police officers in the park for all this, at least eight.  The horses were massive.  No one in the park had any negative intentions, a lot of curiosity, but nothing negative.  I'm all to thankful for that, it is far too often when "Christians" come in yelling and screaming about their hell and Jesus at Pagan festivals.  Which, I ran into that hate later that night! 

So I wandered off for some food and such.  The group was back at the store Hex, and I watched the girl who caught my attention at the ritual bellydance.  It was a highly enjoyable street performance.  Loved it.  Everyone had a great time, clapping, laughing, shouting…. Just a whole lot love outside the witch shop.  She ended and I pressed on down the street…… unfortunately running into yelling Christians.  It was another rough duality….whole lota love ..to a whole lota hate.  No, I could never believe these guys are real Christians, but a group is always judged by its worst followers….. And honestly I've encountered these crazy people so many times that it does start to get on my nerves. 

   Most reasonable Pagans completely ignore these people and continue on with their work…. Almost immune to it after listening to it over and over again.   The people who shout back are usually atheists or agnostics.   I listen, but stay out of the whole thing.  It's just full of such hate, I don't think your Jesus would support it.  I don't think your Jesus is built on such hate, although a lot of people are.  I did find all of this offensive in this situation.  To come to Salem on Halloween, knowing the history of the area…. I think they set themselves up for some very negative energies, and not necessarily the energy of the people yelling back at them, and definitely not any negative energy from practicing Witches/Pagans….. We know better. 

I believe that if you enter that space, which has become basically sacred, with hate you will get hate in return.  What I think is happening, though I try not to get too obscure here, is that the very real witches of Salem hold everything in balance.  Which is in part the definition of witch, I suppose.  Someone who stands between two worlds, two opposing parts of nature, opposing parts of the self.  It's as if they stand between the dark history and negative energies that have taken hold of people in Salem, and the modern, partially accepting world.  One could also make the argument that they currently stand between what is known as the "curse of Salem" and the current town.  Not to be too obscure again, but I'm convinced that the hateful Christians on this land on sacred days like Halloween put themselves in a dangerous place.  They think they're being righteous, but their intent in clearly hateful.  A hateful, ignorant person is a target for any kind of negative energy in an area.   So many people think that it's always compassionate, "soft" people who leave themselves open to negative energies….. But in my experience it's clear to me that hate attracts hate…. In any situation in life, ever.   I believe the only reason they are not hurt by negative entities/forces that have clearly roamed Salem throughout history… is because those witches they scream at prevent them from being hurt more than they already are.  After all, a person who does that is not in the right state of mind by any religion's standards, even Christian.

Again, I think if you go into a place like Salem with hate, that's what you take with you forever.  All the terrible things that have happened to Pagans around the world are acknowledged in Salem…. So to come in with that kind of negative presence is downright dangerous.  It's a shame that if I tried to politely explain this to these men, I would be judged and called nasty things.   A witch! A witch!.... Like your telling me something I'm not aware of.  I think that their devil is working through them more than they think it's working through me.  I couldn't say this then, but I can say it now:

Forget not the days of old

And recall the stories told

Of the burnings and the screams

Do they ever haunt your dreams?

There was a time when freedom died

It was an age of genocide

The Inquisition at the door

The Church of Rome in a holy war

They broke freedom on the wheel

In the madness of their zeal

In the shadow of their wake

The innocent burning at the stake

Children resist a return to the burning times

People be wise to the power of their lies

Be not fooled as those who were fooled before

Children, oh children, be free, be wild

They came to bring the 'good news'

To burn witches, pagans, Jews

Said they were the Shepherd's sheep

Whipped old women through the streets

Then the turning of the tide

From the truth they could not hide

Now the darkest age has passed

Hello! I had a blog going to a while....then got busy with the whole wedding things... and I forgot all information to log into it! Brilliant.

So here's to a new one, and a short and sweet first post